WriteUps

Stop Judging, People

“No more going out after 7 in the evenings. Dont even think” my mother ordered me.
“WHAT? WHY? What have i done?” i argued.

She clenched her teeth and gave me the look that made me rethink about the murder i may have committed that i am not aware of.

“NO going out after 7. No more discussion on this.”

“The discussion hasn’t even started yet mom. Tell me what happened.” i asked agitated.

When she told me my mistake i could not help but pity her, after a fit of laughter of course, laughter full of helplessness.

My Mistake- I went to the movies with my friends for an evening show. The friends with more ratio of boys than girls. The same ‘boy-friends’ who cared enough about me to drop me home after the movies. And some Aunty, who is also called the’ Gossip Girl’ of the society saw me with them and that left my mother with LKK syndrome(Log Kya Kahenge syndrome. Its very serious guys, get it checked)

So suddenly from ‘goody-to-shoes’ i had become a characterless girl and was not allowed to live my life my way.

Yeah my life is funny that way.

Ironic how we boast about being modern and open minded in our thoughts we are as conservative as we can get!

Seriously though! what is the deal with having guy friends? Isn’t friendship all about who we connect with? Why does the gender matter so much? Isn’t this the whole issue our ancestors fought on for ages? Is this our way of respecting and continuing that? Why is friendship being judged on the basis of gender?

Why is it so important for people, in my case, people like Gossip Girl (They should rename her as Gossip Aunty; i don’t think a 50 year old qualifies to be called as a ‘girl’) that i should have girls as friends just because i am a girl. Could you get anymore sexist, aunty?

I meld with people who happen to be boys. That does not imply that i m doing something illegal for which i should be put under house arrest!

On one hand we get hell bent on following the tradition of ‘arranged marriage’, of sending the girl off with a man, whom we think is perfect for her, the man she has never met before, to spend the rest of her life with him. On the other hand, we don’t even want her to have any contact with any male species till we wed her off. Smooth contradicted thinking there, aunties!

I have immense respect for tradition, i wont lie. But i will also admit that the problem is not the thinking or the traditions. They were perfect in accordance with the time when they were made. The problem is that we, as society have failed to adapt ourselves to the new time. We are living in the NEW time with OLD thinking.

So here is something i want to say-

For people who think girls should not have guy friends– I believe you are living a little behind time, by little i mean ancient time. Girls have the right to chose their friends. You don’t get to judge her or anyone else for the choices they make in their life. Yes, she gets along well with guys. That does not make her a characterless person. In fact, that makes you a judgmental person. Focus on your own life and your own choices. Her life is not your concern.

For girls who have guy friends– Don’t be scared. Go out, have fun and know your limits. If you spend your time thinking what people will think of you hanging out with your guy pals, then you’ll be thinking forever. Because the truth is, people will talk, and they will talk even when they have nothing to talk about. So dont stop living your life out of fear of these people who have nothing better to do than to judge people for living their lives the way they want.

For parents of the girls with guy friends– What are you so afraid of? if you believe in the values you have inculcated in your children then a little trust on them would not hurt you. Don’t deprive her of her rights and her freedom just because a bunch of people you don’t even know would say some things. Teach her to stop giving a damn about people. Be her closest confidante instead. Let her know that you are there if and when she needs you. Just trust her and your values. Okay?

For society, in general– Lets just make sure that we as society let people live the way they want. If the girl does not have a problem hanging out with boys, then we are no one to judge her or question her choices or her character. If we can see a guy having hanging out with girls and think of him as a charming guy, then we can surely accept the fact that girls can hang out with guys.

Blame Bollywood masala movies for all the “Love is friendship” or “A girl and a boy can never be friends” crap.

Lets allow our mind to be a little more open and not discriminate anything on gender basis. Lets stop judging people, People!

Lastly , From The Girl with guy friends
Yes i have a lot of guy friends. No i am not a slut. Yes you are judgmental. No i don’t care.


Komal does not really have a lot of guy friends. She is at the last stage of LKK syndrome. Send her your best wishes people. Or some pizza. That would be good too.

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3 Comments

  1. Diksha sahjwani says:

    I can relate to your post. I myself have come across such kind of people and I hate them alot. We all have some purposes to serve in the world but their jobs Is to just interefere in other person’s puspose and judge them for what might be keeping them going.
    Ooh btw love your posts

  2. Kritika Bhardwaj says:

    “ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nai ho sakte prem (or rahul, idk)”๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ cheers to patriarchy ! It is so deep in the society that we don’t even realize whats wrong. Gender roles and notions of gender- appropriate behaviour are constructs of modern society that bind us chains. Those chains are breaking. i see your post as a ray of hope .. ohh and my life would be truly devastating without guy friends๐Ÿ˜‚

  3. Kritika Bhardwaj says:

    (Correction) that bind us in chains*

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